The Living Tantra Training


Why do people want to go on this 18 month training? There are, of course, many reasons why people sign on to intimacy coach and relationship expert, Jan Day's training course. But the most common ones are that the participants (from writers to yoga teachers, from business people to lawyers) have done some personal growth work and are keen to deepen their self-awareness including their sexual selves, or that they are already alternative practitioners who want to take this new knowledge into their own areas of therapy and healing.

“It's a great opportunity to come together as a group for a considerable length of time, which enables profound trust and therefore deeper processing,” says Jan, who trained with Alan Lowen, the founder of The Art Of Being. She has been teaching for over fifteen years, lived on Maui for seven years, runs workshops at Skyros, Cortijo Romero and soon at both Alternatives at St James and the 2012 Mind Body Spirit Festival. “The course consists of Living Tantra 1, the one week Easter course which is healing, nurturing and challenging, and the other three Living Tantra workshops, then there are six additional three day seminars which are exclusive to the Training Group that year. It's impossible to hide your issues in a group like this, and you really get the advantage of the other members of the group being your mirrors and a huge support. It is a life-changing training and requires real commitment.”

Maternity nurse, Valerie says she started the training because “I'd been seeing a therapist for four years and some things were not working for me. I saw the opportunity to try something different, not really knowing what tantra is, and where it would take me. I got much more than I expected. I found myself on a very intense journey and believe I've got more from that 18 months than I would have done from 10 years in therapy.”

Meanwhile environmental consultant and tantra teacher, Rupert says: “I wasn't planning to do it. I've done quite a lot of tantra courses, but I went on Jan's Easter Living Tantra 1 course and it was incredibly powerful for me. Unlike a lot of tantra courses, it isn't technique-based, it is about being fully here in every way right now. I got so much out of it, I wanted to do the 18 months. For me, it was all about relating differently to my masculinity plus I received a lot of new insights about myself.”

Musician, Peter, had a completely different reason for signing up to the group. “Basically, my partner and I weren't having sex any longer and we wanted to do something about it so we signed up for Jan's training. I'd always do courses which had a spiritual, intellectual approach, now I was ready for something more emotions and body centred. Over the 18 months, we both found out that our approaches to sex are completely different and that has helped us become more aware of each other's needs. You learn a lot under the pressure cooker of relating while being witnessed by the group.”

What is Jan like as a teacher? According to Valerie: “She is very experienced in all sorts of situations, patient and I trust her which means she can challenge me and it is very fruitful in terms of what I have learnt about my patterns and how to express my emotions.” While Rupert says: “Jan holds an amazing space, her courses go deeper than other ones I've been to, and I want to go on and assist her in order to add to my own teaching skills. I love the way she welcomes everything into the training like anger, fear and jealousy.”And Peter adds: “There is no-one to compare to Jan in terms of tantra teaching. She's incredibly gifted, she thinks on her feet, she's creative like artist or magician. She deals with often difficult emotional issues between participants in a very skilful way. She also does processing work in circles which I really like.”

What did you get from your training? Valerie says: “After the training, my self-esteem went right up as well as my self-understanding and self-love. In 18 months, I managed to heal most of my childhood traumas (dad and both grandparents were alcoholics, mum was emotionally absent), learn how to speak up for myself, have more empathy, love and understanding for others. This training was a classroom for me. Not always pretty, mostly not pretty but I was able to make mistakes and learn from them. I'm also now in a healthy, loving relationship with a man. Tantra for most people is about sexuality and as much as tantra did help with my confidence around my sexuality, I never felt that any of this work or rituals had to be sexual.”

Rupert adds:”Again it wasn't specifically about my sexuality, it was more about my own relationship with being a man. It was not easy being with this group of people for 18 months but committing to it, gave me the opportunity to look at my own behaviours in a more real way. We did feel like a family and that brought a lot of very authentic interactions to learn from. I will use all these learnings in my own teaching.”

Peter says: “For me, it was important to gain a deeper understanding of my own sexual energy, and how it is for me in relationship to women. It also helped me integrate sexuality into my spiritual life which is a huge relief to me. I didn't want to leave it out, all that power and energy. For my partner and I, the training really clarified where we're at with each other, and what we both need from sexuality in our lives. It's a work in progress but now we know what the issues are clearly.”

What are the advantages of being in a group for this length of time? Jan explains: “You get to be seen over and over again by the group which really helps with you being able to see and become clear about your patterns of behaviour as in what helps you and what doesn't. For instance, if you are uncomfortable every time people get sad, then you become aware of this, and in the group you get the space to reclaim your own sadness. You get time to make friends with all of your emotional life from anger to shame and be seen in these states, which can be such a big relief to people in a calming way. I have seen people totally transform in this time, as they become more compassionate and loving of themselves, they can reach out in all sorts of different ways, including entering committed relationships. From being more loving to themselves, they then become able to be more loving to others. In terms, of helping their work, they can expand what they do, and how they do it. Some people in the training will go on to assist me, and then teach tantra themselves. Others may use the skills they learn in whatever profession they have. It's a great opportunity to explore and commit to more expansion in your life.”

Jan Day's next Living Tantra training starts in June 2012. Living Tantra 1 takes place from 5-12 April 2012 at the EarthSpirit centre, Somerset. It is a pre-requisite for the training course. Do ring and have a chat with Jan on 02081239831. Email: Website:

Opening to love is the power that transforms lives ...
"This has been an experience of being more truthfully myself. I've learned what love is, love for myself and love for others" Jemma